Musings during a Sacrament Meeting

back to Sacrament Musings

I was sitting in Sacrament meeting last week enjoying my once a week family religious experience and I had a thought come to me.  Perhaps it was inspiration.  I stared off and around observing the chapel's characteristics that surrounded me.  I wanted them to speak some sort of something to me.  My mind wandered as I mentally fondled the ceiling's cottage cheese type rough textures with my eyes.  From out of the blue I began musing as to what it would take to get me to embrace Mormonism again.  Here is what I recall coming up with:

1. Just stop the insanity with the Book of Abraham.  Just admit the scrolls are not going to translate into the Pearl of Great Price.  Admit it is an egyptian funerary text that Joseph Smith used to justify a number of new ideas he was experimenting with at the time (priesthood, blacks denied the priesthood).   Just say that the church does not know how the book of Abraham came into being in relationship to the scrolls we have available now for scrutiny.  Decree that it looks very doubtful that the scrolls are any source.  Decree that the scrolls are in no way shape or form any sort of biography of Father Abraham, nor is there any sort of autograph by this person found in the scrolls.

2. Admit that Polygamy is wrong, and Joseph Smith was misguided.  Account for how impersonable, mysogonistic, and invented by bronzed age men for sexual conquest Polygamy is.  Formally revoke the doctrine that if one makes it to the Celestial Kingdom, one is destined to be a Polygamist.  Decree that God is not a Polygamist in any way shape or form.  Remove section 132 from LDS cannon.  Admit that much of the early temple ceremony originated from Joseph Smith's need to form a secret society and protect the secret plural wifery he and his friends were engaging in.  Instead of issuing a proclamation to the world on family, issue a proclamation to the women of Polygamy that includes a heart wrenching apology as to their loneliness, depression and woeful existence.  I would also expect that the church should set up a program to care for the growing number Lost Boys who are kicked out of Mormon fundamentalist groups because they compete for the limited number of females.

3.  Openly and loudly publish an apology to blacks.  Take out a full page advertisement every day for a week in USA Today or the Wall Street Journal.  Do it in sack cloth and ashes.  Do it using justification from the words of Jesus Christ who encouraged all to love your neighbor as yourself and do unto others as you would have them do to you... basic Christianity 101.  Decree "We were in gross error with our racist past".  Just come out and say it... and move forward.  Make some sort of public statement.

4.  Fess up to the Mountain Meadows Massecre.  Posthumously strip Brigham Young of his arrogant aloofness regarding this tragedy.  Apologize personally to every single descendent and pay them reparations settled in some sort of class action lawsuit $100,000 per descendent would be a fine start.  At least discuss some sort of reparations- even if they received a token.  Or maybe not even financial reparations, come up with some significant means of demonstrating repair, restitution, feeling sorrow for the wrong doing... you know... kind of like the church explains that its membership should do when they do something very wrong!  In short, the Mormon church should demonstrate sincere repentance.  Not hollow half way cloaked apologies and bullet dodging as demonstrated recently.

5.  Abandon the awful and invasive worthiness interviews.  Scale them way down.  Instead, focus solely on the member's daily walk with Christ. Make it formal policy to never ask young or old people if they masturbate.  It's fine to preach abstinence... just don't reach into the heads of young people and make them feel like pond scum for natural sexual development.  Do NOT place a young person on probation for normal healthy sexual maturation process.  Instead of asking a member point blank if they masturbate try asking:

Are you striving to keep your thoughts and deeds pure in your daily walk as a disciple of Christ?

The questioning really need not go any further.  Preach that, yes, one should control themselves in all aspects of one's life.  But go no further than that... and then let the members govern themselves.  I figure that if a member is a true disciple of Jesus, wouldn't they automatically strive for that anyway? And in the end, striving is really all that matters... not the end result of perfection.

6.  Make tithing voluntary instead of mandatory.  Meaning, you are still welcome to go to some form of temple even if you don't tithe.  Meaning, you are still worthy and valuable to God if you are not a full tithe payer.  Meaning, folks should give to a church because they are truly converted to its ideals... not because they fear being burned at the last day or facing social stigma of not being able to do X or Y in the church.  Most folks who are truly converted will want to support a church.  There is no need for spiritual extortion.

7.  Revamp the entire temple experience.  Honestly, I think having a place of holy sanctuary is a great idea.  But the robes, underwear, outfits, chanting, masonic overtures, and mind control is in dire need of excisement.  Temple worship could be so much more than it is. 

8.  Make the temple experience inclusive instead of exclusive for members only... make it truly sacred and not secret.  There is too much bizarre and plagerized going on in there and if it is not secret, then why can't anyone but full tilt Mormons witness what goes on there?  Sacred? Secret?  They need to review the definitions of those words.  My vote is that it is definitely secret. 

9. Allow non members to see their lovely precious converted daughters or sons get married in the temple.  Even if they have to make some showing of purification... I think that is reasonable and would go very far in healing the rift found in Mothers and Fathers excluded from that very special day.  If the option to temporarily purify were available... say... abstain from alcohol and nicotene for a month and talk to the missionaries about basic Mormon theology... or something... I am positive most non members would do that for their daughters wedding.

10. Issue a statement that admits the Book of Mormon appears it cannot be what it claims to be.  It can still be a matter of faith, certainly.  I don't have a problem with people using faith to say that they believe the Book of Mormon is true... it's just when they say they KNOW the Book of Mormon is true that I get very antsy.  It's time to look at the facts and embrace what they tell us.  If some scientific discovery proves it later (and it has not done this), then great!  Time to celebrate.  But for now, it is better to call a spade a spade.

11.  Encourage a more loose dress code at church by acting like and preaching how Jesus loves the person, not the wardrobe that person dons.  Jesus is accounted for associating with the lowest of people in the lowest of earthly stations.  Mormonism appears far too exclusive for most who attend the meetings.  If you want to wear a tie, great but don't make me feel like a bum for wearing a polo and nice jeans to church...

12.  Preach Jesus.  If you are going to say you are the Church of Jesus Christ... then preach Jesus till the cows come home and then preach that man some more.  Preach Jesus morning noon and night.  Make people sick of the word Jesus.  Put a mandate out that paintings of Jesus MUST be the bishop's office front and center and prominant... not pictures of mortal men who lead the church today... it's not The Church of Mortal Men Who Lead Jesus' Church Today... it's the Church of Jesus Christ for Chrissakes!

13.  Have the prophet give a prophesy once in awhile... it would be nice for the prophesy to come true.  Maybe have that prophet examine the extant Book of Abraham Egyptian papyrus with his seer powers and by the power of God in heaven declare them authentic Pearl of Great Price translations or complete hoaxes.  It is okay to just say that we don't know... but have the prophet issue the statement that the Book of Abraham appears highly suspect.  But if the prophet reviews the papyri with his seer powers of discernment and declares them authentic, have him explain how his translations differ from the egyptologists' translations.  Put an end to this Book of Abraham madness once and for all.  QUIT HIDING IN THE APOLOGISTS' SHADOWS!!!

14.  Allow two or three or even four pairs of earings... focus instead on how Jesus loves the person, not the earing count of said person.

15.  Revamp the approach to homosexuality.  LDS homosexuals should not be committing suicide or leaving the church on account of their sexual orientation.  This is happening and it is a tragedy.  It appears that the church would implode if it grew more tolerant of homosexuals.  I don't have the answer in any way for that much needed fix but more tolerance and acceptance is needed. Maybe the prophet could receive a revelation as to how the church can put a stop to LDS homosexual suicides.

16.  If the church is going to embrace the scouting program, then embrace it.  Provide a scouting program that is the envy of most secular scouting programs.  Only in Utah or Idaho have I seen the church half way succeed here.  Elsewhere, LDS scout troops are languishing badly.  The church can benefit immensly from this idea.

17.  Stop the nonsense of preaching Sins of Omission from the general conference pulpits.  It drains the average member who struggles enough already to do the liturgy of requirements found in their core Mormon beingness.  Again, the focus should be on true discipleship of Christ... get that solid in the member's core and the rest should follow.

 

Noggin