This Musing takes place after a Sacrament Meeting. So rather than compartmentalize a new section of Musings, I am choosing to install it here.
Am I A Slot Machine?
After Sacrament Meeting ends, I take my 3 year old to the Nursery. A fellow whom I have not seen in months pops in and notices me. This is the guy that took 2nd place on NBC's weight TV loss sensation program "The Biggest Loser". Back then, he was all chiseled abs, toned body. Now he is a dough boy again. Whatever, I mean, I can't fault the guy, food is highly addictive. Anyway. So he has not seen me nor has he made any attempt to befriend me in all the years we have gone to church together. Oh we've been cordial enough but you know, it never actually clicked between us. It has been casual pass in the halls keep it light how ya doing stuff.
So DoughBoy and I, catching me clueless, are some how best friends today. How did I miss this blossoming of friendship? Puzzling... it was very odd to not see this man for months and suddenly here he was, smiling, pumping my arm like a slot machine, really genuinely interested to engage me in conversation. Wow, I have missed out on such warm friendship. Maybe I ought to reconsider my position that Mormon's make awkward at best superficial friends.
Slap on the back, how ya doing, Noggin, good tah see ya Noggin... Man how have ya been Noggin!! Oh wow! A new friend-- this is great!
Em... by the way, what do you do again, Noggin? Oh geez that's right. I thought you bought and sold property for a living? Well, DoughBoy I do that, but I am also part owner of a family owned roofing/ construction business.
pause.
You are? Oh wow! How did I miss that?
(Oh, I don't know, Dough boy... maybe it's because you and I do not know each other past Hello and Goodbye)
Anyhow. His eyes actually light up and get really big. I mean it was practically cartoonish. Dollar signs in eye balls... cue the ringing sound of a cash register... it was all there. I kid you not. This is what comes out of his mouth complete with a really large and enthusiastic grin:
"Ohhhhhh.. then... you have e x p e n s i v e insurance!!"
**said to me with piercing eye contact as he nodded his head "Yes"**
Me? Oh shitsticks! I wanted to kick him in the nuts. I also wanted to tell him to wipe the drool off of the left side of his mouth. What was I, some grade A filet mignon cut of beef? Jesus. Believe it or not, he actually pursued his bad taste in social graces.
"Who do you use for Insurance? You know I sell insurance now right?"
I purposefully grounded my right leg onto the floor... I had to command my foot not to move as the fast twitch fibers were spasmodically begging me to engage them to move the foot to the general direction of his crotch. I was definately feeling mined, culled, catalogued, filed away. I was feeling used.
"I dunno, some firm out of San Jose".
"San Jose!! Wow. We are going to have to talk about that!"
And with that, he made some comment about how I looked like the 49er's quarterback Steve Young and he was gone. Off to the glories of his god. I wanted to shout after him...
"No, no, uh, Friend... I don't think you should bother yourself..."
But by then he was already mining his next potential client down the hall way somewhere. He was pumping their arms like slot machines too. Because that's really all I was to him. A slot machine.
Lucky Seven! Come on Lucky Seven!!
